comings, goings, etc

Its 2010. Even cooler, it was brought in with a blue moon. Fellow spiritualists will understand the complicated cake that this fact creates. I don't make New Years resolutions -- why set yourself up to fail so easily? If you wanna change, change for the long-term, not for a single year. Instead, I sort of decided that with the omen of new comings and my own gathering thoughts over the last couple quiet months that I wanna work on some things this year and into the farther future. I guess its still a New Years resolution of sort, I'm just trying to figure out a way to place them out there without jinxing myself too much.

So, lets start with a thing I'd like to change:
I'm going to work really hard not to spread myself so thin this year and further on. I wanna be part of everything, learn all I can, move on. What happens though is that I build up how much time/energy/money I have beyond what is capable of being used, and then when I dont do or cant do some side project, I get all down about it and feel like "wow, i really failed." I didn't fail, I just cant juggle 20 projects at full steam all of the time or even part of the time. I've decided to leave what I focus on to be very small, and even when i broke it down to the bare-bones stuff, (art, writing, friends/socializing, wow/rp, jewelry, occasional blogging) its still a lot! I cant keep beating myself up over not being 'so amazing' at everything I do. I cant experience everything. I can't know everything. This I must make peace with.

I deleted my bookstore blog for the reasons listed above. Its a lovely idea, but I don't really blog that much here let alone on a separate blog. That, and I don't want to have an entire blog of me just being really irate and pissy. (Which is really the only way it would've been funny was to watch me lose my shit every couple weeks about people who drive me nuts at work.)

I'd also like to start working more on art this year. Last year, between doodles + images I made, I think I did around 10 images. That's less than 1 image a month. That's not where I want to be this year. I'm not expecting to be like "im going to make 5000 images now to make up! woohoo!" I do, however, want to make a more studied attempt at making art when I can, in whatever form. (I've started getting really into photography. Birthday Present Idea, Geggington!) Just to prove I'm trying, here's a picture of an ink/pencil image im working on:

Spend less money. Save more. Case in point, I dont buy outside of my means (most of the time... sort of...), but I realize that I have a lot of spending that I dont really need. One of my loves is comic books, and I'm lucky in that I can sell some of them back for a little extra cash when I gather a whole bunch, but I dont want to get bogged down with some huge collection. Which I currently have. (6+ longboxes...) I was going through and organizing my comics and I had a backlog of like 7 mos. of stuff I hadn't put away, and it really caused me to stall and go "Wow. Do I need all of this stuff?"

Thats about 1.5" longboxes (and my cat :3) of stuff I had collected over 6 months. Granted, a lot of them were cheap because I got them at work ($0.25~$.98/per), but that shit adds up really easily.

I want to spend this year being more forgiving of people too. Well, maybe not 'forgiving' because it implies this certain amount of entitlement that I don't feel I have. I guess, I want to learn to be less likely to dwell on situations I don't understand. People at work, online, where ever,... we all have long and convoluted lives we live. People will do really douchebaggy things, and the best I can hope to do is to one day have them explain to me why they did/do what they do, or find out somehow that the situation couldnt have ended at face value. If not, and it turns out the person is just a real dick at heart, I hope to learn how to deal with peacefully removing them from my life.

Losing a little weight would be nice, but I'm going to have to work for it and I cant just expect to do like a month of really careful eating and then be fine forever. I'm hoping to afford a YMCA membership so I can use the pool (I was a total fish as a kid. you couldn't pull me away from a pool), and from what I've heard my health insurance will help pay for part of it which would be very nice! 

Mmm, cathartic! :D