HULK SMASH!!!

There are very few times I wont read a comic all the way through. Even if I don't like the art, the writing usually makes up for it. Even if I don't like the story, the art usually moves up the priority.

It is to my great dismay that for possibly the first time ever, i did not finish a comic. (this is coming from someone who even finished issues of the misogynistic, castration-fear-fueled Savage Dragon just to shock myself into a stupor.) And that comic was one that I was so, so hoping was going to be worth it: Marvel Girl Comics #1 (of 3). I had no idea about the interiors, but I knew from some websites that Amanda Conner was doing the initial cover for it (and she included RoLo!), and being a staunch fan of her work from The Pro up to her current Power Girl project through DC I figured it was going to be golden. Back in December when there was news of the incoming series, CWR did a small article on GC#1 on it, sort of a preliminary view of the pile of failure that it could be. As I was reading it, I was hoping that she was just being defensive on personal scale, having lived long enough to see the massive steaming loads that were previous attempts at 'including the lady-folks into comics'. And I'm not even talking about going way back to the days of Romance, MMMillie! and Boyfriends in the 1950s and 1960s. I'm talking about mid-eighties up to today.

So, as you already know, I didn't end up reading the comic. For starters, it was a collection of mini-comics that were only 4~5 pages long, so there wasn't much story development. And, no offense to the 50% this doesn't cover, but half of the interior art was so lacking in talent or so stylized it read more like a collection of upscale Unloveable shorts. Being the pretty upfront Feminist that I am, I don't like that I'm shitting on a comic that is an all-girl in an overwhelmingly testosterone-driven market / boys club, but for the support of all of the ladies that were commissioned to do this, I truly don't believe that this glossy 'zine being passed off as a serious publication is their fault.

Let me explain:

Every time something like this happens (IE, pandering to a minority group within a larger subculture) its usually orchestrated largely by the non-minority. Of the 9 big-name players on the information page, the top 3 spots of power - Exec. Producer, Publisher, and Editor in Chief - are all men. Granted, the remaining 6 spots (7 spots?) are all filled by women, but the people with any sort of final say are all males. If the artists were working solo instead of via a company, they'd have total control over what they're doing, but the second you begin to work through someone else you start to slowly give up individual rights over your character, over your storyline, etc. Everything has to fit into whatever niche/image that company is trying to create.

So, the first mini-comic appears to be a mid-century take on a German entertainment house, and revolves around a sultry Chicago-esque singer doing a number while Nightcrawler sits around being pretty and then saving a woman from the classic 'nameless, abusive male in power'. Again, for clarification: A comic supposed to be part of an inspirational series for women starts with a classic "men as conqurers, women as victims" story. I gave this one a bit of a pass because I liked the art, but it came to the second story and that's when I was looking for my receipt to get store credit back.

So the second story, done in what appears to be a style somewhere between whimsical 1960s spot-illustrations and undergrad storyboarding project basically includes Venus as a bored immortal attempting to get back down to earth to regain her role as editor for a beauty magazine. Again, its the 'evil men' that keep her down save for the fact that shes - gasp! - just so pretty (and lily white...) that they can probably 'find a place to put her.' It was 3 pages into this comic with her carrying an armload of clothes for a model and then getting in a kerfluffal with the 'evil, oppressive burqa wearing Muslim women!' that I literally didn't even finish my sentence. I slipped it back in its B&B and taped the receipt to the front of it.  Glossing over the 'white savior' mentality, the rushed art, the continued 'men are evil' stance...  The ill-informed attempt at horizontal oppression for sake of pushing a plot forward is where I put my foot down.

Now, I don't know what sort of favor marvel thinks its doing women, but they can just keep it if this is to be the outcome. The fact that this is part of some 'year-long celebration of women in comics' seems to be just about as heartfelt as Black History Month - "lets give them a small percentage of time to celebrate their achievements and then ignore them the rest of the year! Won't this just be swell?!"

I work the comic section at my work, and some of the sexist bullshit I have to deal with on a weekly (and sometimes daily) basis is enough to keep a 200-count liqui-gels Advil bottle within reach at all times. I understand that the territory women face in comics is that of, at best, perpetual outsider, and at worst, lolita or helpless victim of her own doing. There is an amount of peace we all eventually have to make with it, but its not for loss of faith in the institution. I think women are already making slow steps forward, both as creators and as characters within the respective universes (Dynamite, DC, and Marvel are the big ones that come to mind.) If women want to be represented fairly then they need to speak out, and I'll start with this.

Marvel: If you want to make improvements with your comics, let me say that instead of trying to trot out tired stereotypes of what you think will sell your merch better (shopping! make-up! love! sexy bois! PINK!), stop trying to figure out what women want and first focus on what they don't want. I started reading comics when I was in roughly 4th grade, and the character that made me stick through this many years of crappy storylines (with Marvel, at least) has been Ororo Munroe, AKA Storm. She was what made me think "I have a place here too," and that's saying a lot since the entire mid-ninties era was little more than a Jim-Lee laden sausage-fest across the big 3 at the time (Marvel, DC, Image). So, let start off with a humble list of don'ts:

• The reason you all got so many female comic fans is that you began pushing strong-willed females that could take care of themselves. Storm, Cat Woman, Red Sonya, Pulsar/Captain Marvel, Power Girl, Vixen, Poison Ivy, Banshee, Sif, Valkyrie... these are just a few from the mainstream comics. Realize that what you are selling to your customers and future fans is the idea of not only what you think women are, but what you believe. Stop making women the constant damsel in distress, or the siren-tongued home wrecker. Stop treating us like all we do is fill the sexual fantasies of your male viewers instead of being not only worthy but good at being protagonists/antagonists with backgrounds as vivid and solid as long-time male counterparts like wolverine, batman, etc.
• Somewhere along the way, Feminism got pretty harshly equated with being a movement of man-haters. Just because a woman is strong or independent in a comic does not mean that she instantly has to be some hyper-masculine man-hating wreck. A strong willed woman is the same as a strong-willed man. You wouldn't say people like Wolverine and Tony Stark are women-haters just because they are independent, would you? While it may be taken differently depending on who is reading it, its not fair to fill in the gap between independence and misandry with a straight line.
• It is time to move away from the blue-eyed, blond-haired templates of the past. Characters like Vixen and Storm (and Eartha Kits era Catwoman) were revolutionary for their time, but you can't hold on to a small pool of somewhat token minority characters as expect that to be your version of a "I cant be racist, I have all these black friends" argument. In GC#1, there was not one main story with a Woman of Color. In fact, the only WOC who appears in the whole thing is Storm as part of a one-panel spot on the splash page. (And for those possible nit-pickers, Tigra doesn't count as she's based on a white woman.) Marvel: I know for sure that you have more than just Storm, and as much as I love her to the point of near-obsession, you can do better. There are many WOC to choose from, comic world.
• This one I'd actually like to see on both men and women: Can we please have some heroes that don't look like they came from a McFarlane toy catalog? I understand the need to have taut, sexy bodies as your bread and butter from a purely financial standpoint (and my personal disagreement), but people come in all shapes in sizes. I'm 4'11", how about a really short super hero? Or an average-build one? Or a disabled one? (...that doesn't look like they somehow manage to hit the gym every day. i'm looking at you, Mrs. Gordon!) Or an overweight one? Or an obese one? Like I said above, you are selling an idea to people of what you think is good or admirable about the world. Can't average people be heroes too?
• I think it is a good idea to explore the hot-button issues of Womanly Politics such as sexual freedom, abortion, religious and/or social representation. That being said, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. Like with the burqa example up there, the wrong way is to just showcase one idea and run with it. There are two sides to every coin. If you are going to do a hot-button issue, the best research is through people who have lived it or are currently living it. And if you dont have access to that, thats what a few days of internet research are for. Or better, Lexus-Nexus.

 Wow. well, that took a long time to get out of my head.